The holidays are often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. However, for those grieving the loss of a loved one, this time of year can be especially painful. Memories of shared traditions, the absence of a familiar presence, and the societal expectation to feel “merry” can amplify feelings of loss and sadness.

If you’re navigating grief during the holidays, know that it’s okay to feel what you feel. Grief is a deeply personal journey, and it doesn’t take a holiday break. Here are some strategies we use at Ballen Medical & Wellness to help you understand and cope with your emotions during this challenging time.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Grief is complex and can bring up a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and even moments of joy. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. Suppressing your feelings in an attempt to “stay strong” may only prolong your pain.

Pro Tip: Journaling or talking to a trusted friend or therapist can help you process your feelings.

2. Create New Traditions

Continuing old traditions might feel too painful, but abandoning the holidays altogether might feel isolating. Consider creating new rituals that honor your loved one while allowing you to move forward.

For example:

• Light a candle in their memory during holiday meals.
• Donate to a cause they cared about in their name.
• Share stories about them with family and friends.

3. Set Realistic Expectations

You don’t have to participate in every holiday activity or meet every expectation. Give yourself permission to say no to events that feel overwhelming. Focus on what feels manageable and meaningful to you.

Pro Tip: Let loved ones know your limits. For instance, you could say, “I’d love to join for dinner, but I might leave early if it becomes too much.”

4. Honor Their Memory

Finding ways to celebrate the life of your loved one can bring a sense of comfort and connection. Consider:

• Creating an ornament with their photo or a meaningful quote.
• Cooking their favorite holiday dish.
• Writing them a letter expressing what you miss and what you’re grateful for.

5. Lean on Your Support System

Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to face it alone. Reach out to family, friends, or support groups who understand what you’re going through. Sometimes, simply having someone to listen can make all the difference.

Pro Tip: If you don’t feel comfortable talking to people in your immediate circle, look for online grief support groups or forums.

6. Practice Self-Care

The holidays can be physically and emotionally draining. Make time for activities that replenish your energy and bring you peace. Here are some self-care suggestions:

• Taking a walk in nature.
• Meditating or practicing deep breathing.
• Enjoying a favorite book, movie, or hobby.

Pro Tip: Prioritize rest. Grief is exhausting, and it’s okay to take extra time to recharge.

7. Seek Professional Support

If your grief feels overwhelming or you’re struggling to function, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor. At Ballen Medical & Wellness, our therapists provide guidance tailored to your needs and help you develop coping strategies.

8. Allow Joy Without Guilt

It’s common to feel guilty about experiencing happiness while grieving. However, finding moments of joy doesn’t mean you’re forgetting or dishonoring your loved one. It’s a sign of healing and resilience.

Pro Tip: Embrace these moments as a tribute to the love and connection you shared.

Final Thoughts

Grief during the holidays is a journey of balancing sorrow with the possibility of hope and healing. Remember, there’s no “right” way to grieve, and it’s okay to prioritize your emotional well-being. By honoring your loved one and giving yourself grace, you can navigate this season with a sense of compassion for yourself.

If you’re struggling, reach out for help. You are not alone. Grief is a testament to love, and love has the power to guide you through even the darkest days.

Here are some helpful resources to guide you through the grieving process, especially during the holidays:

Books on Grief and Healing

• “Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief” by Martha Whitmore Hickman
• “The Grief Recovery Handbook” by John W. James and Russell Friedman
• “It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand” by Megan Devine

Online Support Groups

• GriefShare: Offers in-person and virtual grief support groups.
• The Compassionate Friends: Focuses on bereavement for parents and families who’ve lost a child.
• Reddit – r/GriefSupport: An online community for sharing experiences and advice.

Apps for Grief Support

• Grief Refuge: Daily audio guidance and tools to process grief.